AFFECTION ^_^ fall in... fall out ???????

what do you think of friendship ??
:) tell me tell me

well.... i guess i dont know.


i have a wonderful feeling today.
big relieve kind of feeling

n i dont know why. :) mee just happyy happy
smiling smiling ooopss... without any reason hehe

i'm the kind of creature that cannot live without any friends :)

i cannot make my family as friend off course
for some reasons :) n i like to keep it for myself. hihi no offense i dun wanna talk bout it.

dont be intimidated, i dont hate my family, i luv them, GOd know that n i am not running away from them.

:) they just dont show me affection like what you always thought of.

affectionate for them means.. affection when you live in batavia aroung 1800 or early 1900 .( how did a family goes at that time :) )

not a modern ones. so i guess i need more :))
something that can make me feel comfort.

i broke my heart lately ( not because i fall in love... ) because some dissapointment of a friend, i guess i expect too much.


i thought i made friend with very trustable person, laughable, lovable and firm. and so i believe.
when i thought a friend could lean on one and another and so i do...

but somehow, something is still missing n my heart keep remind me that this friend perhaps not the right best buddy for me. :)

the faith only come from one side. not both , and i just realize that. but lack of faith could end up in worser fate of friendship.

when the fact came that my "i assume as good buddy friend " dont trust me, i began to be so so dissapointed. and terribly sad.

my good friend doesnt trust me,
and even worse, perhaps thought some different kind about me while i though that mate not suppouse to , ( since best buddy know their mate better than others)

the part that rejected my call became the million times of hurricane came and go.
and those twisters swept all the words which i called : FAITH . no faith stays longer in my head when it comes to that name.

perhaps you should leave when you start to diggin your own graveyard.
:)

well i dont wanna push my luck anyway.
i got too many good soul already which i called them friend
:) this time a real time friend.

^_^ friend who cares
friend who remembers
friend that are honest
friend that shares
really friends that stays in my heart n put the same pawprints of me in their heart

:) i believe i still can be happy.
loosing ones means i'll got so much more
:D